“The day I was born I was born free and that is my Privilege.”


Chona-ism: A new-fangled philosophy
October 27, 2008, 1:03 pm
Filed under: Big Brother Stories, Familia, Tabloid

Oh, well, I dunno if she will then again — presumably, because the first instance has not yet been confirmed — abduct my cellphone and throw it in a bin saying “Help lessen electronic wastes.  Dump your ‘not-so-good’ e-gadgets and accessories here.  Save the earth where we inhabit” after I make her my heroine in this entry.  Well, I sincerely don’t want her to be in such a state again for this: She fainted after seeing my 2300 with its cheap purplish-pink butterfly-inspired keypad.  To lessen such feeling of lightheadedness, she glanced at her N70 Nokia phone. “I still am in  the Wall-E age,” she then bellowed.  <Hahahaha.  Love you, Tsoning.>

It was the morning at the office where you would not expect to be shocked after reading a chat message from your superior saying, “Hey, guys, today’s our annual physical examination.  It would be much convenient for you because the said event will be held in our beautiful, just spare the filthy floor, office.” Okay.  So there we are in that room, registering, looking high up in the ceiling, almost breaking a neck, just to prove that we’re no hobbit, and taking all the unnecessary things to make a statement that we are just as light as a feather.  Kidding.  But it’s no jest to be pinched with a thick needle just to get a drop of blood.   You would then think after that that those white-gowned oppressors are just too mean to make a scenery of your red blood cells for just a few seconds under a microscope, them enjoying and you flinching as they’re drilling a hole in your finger just to take a piece of you.  <Hehe, ang arte ko talaga pero pramis masakit.>  As Chona — famous to be Donya of our beautiful workplace, just spare the filthy floormat, please — would mumble later on, “Of all the people na kumuha ng million pounds worth blood drop of mine, it is with her that I feel sheer agony and pain.” <Tarush! Lord Byron, back off! Hahaha>

It was time for the last of the Basic Five — X-ray.  We went downstairs, to the building’s parking area to look for a mobile clinic.  It was swarmed with male nurses and a doctor inside.  We were the first batch to be X-rayed, all women, oh, yeah, one claims to be trapped in a man’s body but she is among the wo-men — hehehe.  All of us piled up, waiting to be stamped with “X-rayed” on our back. “Hinga ng malalim.” Then a flash mimicking a Dravidian period camera.  “Okay.”  Then He-who-must-not-be-named get in the room and recover that metal-lish casket containing a film that would say if your lungs are still there after smoking a pack earlier that morning.  Don’t be misguided.  I am not a smoker.  Chona was the last to be ‘flicked’ at.  We were all outside, talking to each other gals and then the lads came and then more talking.  Suddenly, the door of the mobile opened.  Standing there in the doorway, almost like a proud father after announcing to the audience, it is a boy, a son finally, was Donya Chona.  She came down from her throne and mingled with us underlings.

She opened the discussion with “He-who-must-not-be-named touched me on my waist.  It’s absurd.  It’s hypocritical.”  Then us underlings were forced to utter some phrases of approval.  “Indeed! He has done that to me, too.”  The air was then filled with myriad cries of women in support of Donya Chona.  In the middle of this ruckus, one lad would whisper, “That lucky bastard,”  taking his right hand to his face to cover his mouth.

Lunchtime in the pantry, eating a commoner’s meal and reminiscing what happened earlier that morning, Donya Chona then made a revelation triggered by this one of them lads’ statement:  “Uyst, nung umalis kayong mga gals kanina, sabi ni He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, ‘Kapag mga babae talaga ang tagal.‘”

Eh?!! You would certainly enraged Gabriela Silang there, mister.   Better stay in a cupboard!  After what you’ve done to all of us here, guiding while holding our waists and our shoulders.  You’re a sham — shame!  Well, that’s a personal comment.  Chona’s will be like this:

DC:  Uyst, pa’no ba sinusuot yung gown dun sa X-ray room?

A gal:  Yung may iri-ribbon na part sa likod yun.

DC:  Di nga?!! Akala ko sa harap yun.  Inayos-ayos ko pa man din yung ribbon nun.  Baka kasi masilipan ako dun sa loob.   Sobrang takip nga ako dun ng front ko with my arms.

A lad:  Di ba nanganak ka na?! Di ba you’ve been to a hospital kasi nanganak ka na?! (Insisting that she has an idea, at least, on how to wear that typo’ gowns)

DC:  Eh, matagal na din yun, noh! Nakalimutan ko na kaya!

A gal: Ikaw ba yung sinabihan ng, “Miss, tapos ka na bang mag-bihis?  Ang tagal mo na diyan ha.

DC: <Tawa na lang siya ng after.>

May kapalit na ang Everybody Loves Raymond and Will and Grace kapag lunchtime!!! Hahahaha. –

Postcript:  Chona and the quarterly evaluation discussion with sir.   Don’t confuse her.  See, how heartbreaking it was to see her so flabbergasted. Hahaha.

Sir:  Chona, nakapag-physical exam ka na ba?

DC:  Ay, sir. Hindi pa po.

Sir:  Bakit?

DC:  Wala pa po kaya kayong binibigay sakin.

Sir:  Huh?! Anu naman bibigay ko sa’yo?

DC:  Yung evaluation sheet ko po (Stuttering while thinking).  Ay, hehe, APE (physical exam) po pala.  Ang akala ko PAS (quarterly evaluation).  Hehe.

Siyempre, tawa ako ng tawa upon hearing this story from her.  Mula elevator pababa ng building, habang naglalakad kame papuntang sakayan.  Hahaha.  See, even why I am narrating it here. Hehe. =)

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Post-postscript:  Chona Paranoia: Quarterly Evaluation, as told by her to me just this rainy morning:

J:  Chona!!! Aaahh, late!

DC: Onga eh!  Nu time ka nakapag-in?

J:  6:05, late din! Hehe.  Nasa blog kita! Hahaha.

DC:  Naku, kaw talaga, sa multiply?

J:  Di noh!  Ni-narrate ko lang ang spontaneous humor mo. Hehe =)

DC:  Ay, meron pa nga eh.  Ni-pop ako ni M kahapon, tinatanong kung may suspender daw ako.  Sabi ko naman, “Wala pa eh.  Wala pang binigay si sir.”  Natawa si M, sabi niya, SUSPENDER, di SUSPENSION!



i LOOK ALIVE!
September 17, 2008, 1:10 am
Filed under: Familia, Tabloid

Felt THE WARMTH of INCUBUS again.

Thanks to my lovely friends for giving me such a wonderful gift wrapped in a thick-inch newspaper, placed in a striking blue carton, adorned with an elegant white ribbon.

To Kat, who after I confused her name to be Diana Kristina still considers me as a friend – Hahaha –  Southern wind takes my consciousness away, I assume, that day when I called you that fancy name.  It’s Diana Katrina, for Chris’sake, Jel, kaya nga Kat eh!

And thanks sa Teddy Bear discussions! Hahaha.  I’ll buy you one this Christmas! Promise! 😀

To Mhea, who despite of me being in another dimension in times that we are together still chooses to walk with me from our office to SM Makati.  Mandy Moore, back off, those are our walks to remember —- forever.  Naks!!  Wabyu, mami!!

To Anna Banana, who was quite a performer at our videoke bonding.  To prove it, here’s the video — Joke lang.  Hahahaha.  Thanks sa idea sharing, when I needed someone to confide my weight problem — Problem talaga?! — I know you’ve been through there.  To prove it, here is a picture — joke ulit. <GRIN>  Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts about a multitude of things. Dami! One thing I request, leave Toma to my care. Hahaha.

To Chona, who acts like a glucose to a flat drink.

Sa FX, matapos mapag-usapan ang ilang isyung pampulitika, ekonomiya — joke — about PBB, as far as I recall, ay nagtulug-tulugan kame ng konti, then nagising na lang ng malapit na bumaba.

Chona: Uy, malapit na tayo!

Tumigil ang FX sa tricycle terminal.  Naunang bumaba si Chona.  Si Jel ay nagulat ng bigla niyang sinabi ang ganito:

Chona:  (Langhap ng hangin.)  There is no place like home!  (Tumawa sa sinabi niya.)  “Home” talaga di ba?!  Nanakawan ka nga ng cellphone dito eh. (Cruella de Ville laughter.)

To Aui: Pre, musta?! Palda ka once tapos piktyuran ka namin padala natin sa ABS.  Malay mo ma-doble ka kay Matt Evans. Hahaha.. Salamat sa mga tsika with the chorva, chenes inclitics.  Healthy discussion talaga kapag inaasar mo si Mhea, so awe-inspiring. Hahaha.. 😀

One thank you won’t be enough, so I decided to make it 10: (Assyrian) Basima, Arabic (Syria)Mamnuun, Azerbaijani (Azerbaijan, Iran) Tæshækkür elæyiræm, Burmese (Myanmar) Chezu ba, Cantonese [Chinese] (China) Doh je, Egyptian (ancient Egypt) Dua Netjer en etj, English [old English] (old Britain) Ic sæcge eow þancas, Fijian (Fiji) Vinaka, Greek [Hellenic] (Greece, Cyprus) Efcharisto, Hawaiian (Hawaii) Mahalo.

And to all of those who remembered, Merci, Arigato gozaimashita, Gratiam habeo, Kam sia. <Ismayl>



To Celebrate One’s Birthday Holding a Wok and a Siyanse.
September 16, 2008, 12:59 pm
Filed under: All That Jazz!, Familia

“It’s 9:00 a.m.  Your twenty-third year of existence in this earth begins now!  Ay, hindi, madaling araw ka ata.  Tama ba?  Yung 9:00 a.m. si kuya Jorge mo yata yun eh.  Basta nagla-labor ako madaling araw nun.”

Nay, anu ba talaga ang katotohanan? Oh, bigla mo bang sasabihin sakin, “This is the right time to say it, I think.  Anak, ampon ka lang.”  <Yugyug.> <LOLs>  Aishite Imasu, okaasan.

I was supposed to invite them to eat in some Japanese restaurant eating Japanese food but we end up cooking pasta in meat sauce at my place, what is clasically known as spaghetti /ispagheyti/.  Quite tiring but It’s a fun, fun way to celebrate one’s birthday, in this case, my birthday.

“Iron Chefs!”

Julliened then chopped.

Istrawberry keyks forever!

To the rescue chopping the carrots.

EPILOGUE:

While all turned like Ganesha after eating what we prepared and we were in the middle of cleaning up, a discussion like this made our full belly want to explode of laughter.

Jendell:  Uyst, husay natin!  Pede na tayo mag-business nito!

Ann:  Teka, wait, teka!!! Ay, kapag nag-business tayo ng ganto, ayaw ko dishwasher ha!!!!  

(Sidetracked.) Wala na akong aanlawan, taba, bagal mag-sabon oh!

Ayreen:  (Pabulong) Kakapagod naman tong cooking-bonding endeavour na toh!

 



Nostalgia in the black-and-white panoramas
July 25, 2008, 11:24 am
Filed under: Familia, Liriko, Tabloid

The cats were on the newspapers again, tearing all the papers including the edge of all the photo albums placed beside them. Gnaw and then reach for the other cat’s tail then gnaw again to release its frustration for not being able to bite hard on that tail. I managed to place them outside after running back and forth from our sala, reaching for them under a disarray of computer wires, to the kitchen while they attempt to hide under a leg of the dining chair. After that hoo-ha, I arranged the mess that they have created. I picked up the loose newspapers, then I reached for the blue album with a “Close to You” poem and a picture of a couple with a labrador in its cover. The poem goes like this: Close to you/ I will always stay close to you. /Though, you are far away/ You’ll always be near. It’s quite great of a poem, right? in Dr. Gregory House’s tone.  If this is a song, I won’t sing it even if it tops the chart.  <Sigh> I remember this photo album as one of the elementary graduation gifts I received for being an honorable mention together with a set of dessert glasses among others. I was really thankful for the gifts, but do you have a rag doll there instead, please?
I opened to see what pictures lurk in there, and I found old black-and-white photos of relatives that I have not known, my young mother with her friends, my grandparents, my cousins. Some of those photos have dedications written on their back. One would say, “Dearest Cousin, This is a simple remembrance when I was three years old.” While the other one dated 12-12-72 would state, “Take this picture as a remembrance during our capping ceremony.” It’s a 35-year-old photo, a story well-preserved.

Lucy in Across the Universe believes that its mere narcissism to have children, for a mother to cuddle her newborn child and then say, oh,

she got my eyes, so adorable, but these children’s mothers wouldn’t agree with her view.

There are photos of weddings, of Santacruzans, of beauty pageants and of christenings. The oldest is the December 8, 1954 photo of a burial — a grieving family all dressed in black with their deceased loved one in an open casket — which I dare not post here.

“Date, Happiness” “Everdearest Luz, When you go to Zamboanga with a beautiful Americana,

don’t forget a simple Pilipina, *Cresensia ti nagan na.” “Never 2 4-get, Esing.”

“Dearest Kumareng Luz, May you keep this as a simple remembrance from us. Your kumare, Conching.”

Of friends: “Darling Luz, Remember dear and bear in mind that faithful friends are hard to find.

If you find someone that is true, don’t change the old for the sake of the new.”

And this is a photo of my mother and her confidant in their ol’ boarding house. I simply like it. 😀

And now, the old, blue photo album finds its value storing these epic panoramas.

* Written in Ilocano, its translation is, Cresencia ang pangalan niya.



Toque is on my head

I was supposed to be holding that cooking pan yesterday cooking chicken and veggies but my brother decided that he wanted spaghetti and french toast, so my mother and I went to the grocery to ransack its shelves for the ingredients that we needed. My brother kindly gave us a few pesos to buy pasta and what have you.  He was never fond of going to the market and bearing the burden of carrying those goods home. But nonetheless, going in the grocery, first, buying what I need, and then looking and getting fascinated for the things uncommon in the shelves, is my favorite pastime. In my creative writing class in college, a course I was forced to take, I even wrote an essay about the grocer. And my professor’s critique was, it was okay but it lacked “delicious-sounding words.” Oh, okay.

My mother, when we were in front of the dairy products, panicked when I suddenly shouted. And when she asked me what’s wrong, I just said, “Whipped cream, it’s whipped cream. Let’s get outta here.” She laughed at me. But why? 😛

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I craved for chicken curry — I tell you not because of Honey and Clover’s first episode — so I decided to search the net for the recipe. Our very helpful cookbook doesn’t have curry as ingredient in its chicken curry. And then I asked myself, is that really curry or just chicken with coco cream? Maybe they just forgot to type in a tablespoon of curry. Yeah, that’s one brilliant explanation. I got a chicken curry recipe over the net and then I find chicken and asparagus fried rice delicious, so I printed that out, too.

I went to work this morning with my mind set that I will get that sambal oelek in the grocery — which, by the way, I didn’t find in any of the grocer shelves — and go home early to cook our dinner. I was afraid of using that one in my curry because it’s my first time to hear about that Indonesian all-spice, as I researched, so it’s a good thing that it was not there.  Kat accompanied me in the grocery and told me that tanglad is lemongrass. I was excited to buy the asparagus, but on the cashier I was shocked that it costs 60 kachings just for a bunch. I thought I heard Kat said that it was only for 30 pesos per bunch, so I bought two and never really looked at the price tag. Oh, well, it is crunchy delicious, not a waste of money. I bought baby potatoes too for the curry. They are carbohydrate-y cutey. And even it’s not in the ingredient’s list, I grabbed the sayote tops. My mother and I loved the classic Sautéed Chayote.

I arrived home, put out the contents of the bags, putting into practice — oh, yeah — what I learned from watching those cooking programs on TV, I heard the knife converse with the wooden chopping board, the heated pan with the siyanse. Now, while doing that, one of Patapon’s minigame, the chef game, comes to mind.

I was not intending to cook the fried rice but I found cold cooked rice in the cooker — you got there almost a tongue twister, hehe — and besides I want the asparagus, so I cooked it.

And I don’t really know if this looks delicious, but here it is, my chicken curry on chicken and asparagus fried rice. Chicken feast. 😀

I rarely cook and my dearest mother was very thankful of her daughter’s little good deed for today. You’re welcome, ma! On the other hand, my lovely brother commented, “Uy, kinarir ha. Pang-mayaman.” <Hay, nako, kumain ka na lang!>

It is tiring yet a fulfilling task.

Now, what will I cook next? <Sonreisa>



(S) (O)ne d(O)w(N)
July 15, 2008, 11:21 am
Filed under: Familia

“May wedding invitation tayo,” my mother said to me while I was putting down my umbrella and looking at my poor feet that were wet, soaked on Helen’s water slides. Let’s just say, yeah, I like rainy days, hug-your-pillow days, drool-on-soup days, but not as much as the green bell peppers on my mother’s little garden adore it. And going home from work, walking for less than a half hour from my office to MRT to save my so valued 8 pesos is not really that great to be a hobby. Wffpttt!

“Kanino galing?” I asked her.

“Kay Kuya Jorge.” she replied.

I was so excited to take a peek at the invitation. It’s purple and it’s pink and it’s with little crystals and I blink. <Grin> Dr. Seuss’s into me.

And here they are coming from the vast expanse of a timeless place where silence ruled the outer space.. just utilizing the red-ity carpet-y melodramatic introduction. Ms. Milk and Mr. Coffee and I suddenly want a frappe. 🙂

But the humungous problem lies on the airfare. Sigh.



A Sunday with Aubrey
July 7, 2008, 8:03 am
Filed under: All That Jazz!, Familia, Tabloid

I thought of spending the whole Sunday watching CSI: Las Vegas and downloading torrent mp4 files on the Internet. I went home late Saturday night after going out with my friends at the office, wrapping up our day eating a yummy carrot cake at Tsoko Nut. When I got home, Po said hello to me waggling his tail.

Here is Po giving me my slippers, all right, all right, getting it from me.

Getting angry at the paparazzi

I asked my brother if he had received texts from my friends without telling him that I posted his number on my friends’ Friendster page after my 3200 phone was lost. I could not send a private message, so I ranted on the testimonials and comments section that a good Samaritan deceived me and got away with my phone. Quite embarrassing but I do not know how to contact them, so I did that and at the same time indicated there my brother’s number. I didn’t really ask my brother if someone texted him saying, “Puwede ka ba maging textmate?” 😀

I went to my mother’s room and yelled my usual “Hey, yo, momma, am home.” She was quite sleepy when she told me that Jandy and Ann phoned me. I didn’t really get their message because my half-asleep mother told me just words and phrases like “Aalis daw kayo,” “Jandy,” “lamay.” I panicked, “What? Who died?” She didn’t explain more and just said that she wrote Ann’s number on a paper, which she put somewhere. And somewhere is quite vague. Would you agree? While searching for a paper that was placed somewhere, the phone rang. It was Ann telling me that we would go out that Sunday, that Jandy’s family thingy was canceled and she was the one who requested for us to watch a film, which is Urduja. And Jandy clarified when we saw each other the following day that she would go to a wake that evening and told my mom that it was best for me to contact her at 11:00 that night or the following day. Okay. It was that that happened.

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