“The day I was born I was born free and that is my Privilege.”


Stranger, do I know you?
April 13, 2009, 1:27 pm
Filed under: Tabloid

A few entries from overheardeverywhere. com.

1. Edgar Allan Poe Was a Difficult Kid to Raise

Mother: Honey, do you remember mommy’s friend Denise?
Four-year-old son: Uh-huh.
Mother: Well, mommy has to leave right now, because Denise’s father passed away, and I have to go and tell Denise that I’m sorry.
Four-year-old son: Oh, did you kill him?

(Eeeekkk, Grissom, murder… — haha.. sensiya, CSI mode lang.)


2.  But If Enough Rain Builds Up, You Can Watch Me Walk on Water

Angry traveler: The flight’s canceled because of weather?!  Can’t you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma’am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.

(Grabeh, taas ng self-esteem! hahaha)

3. Hamburgers, That’s How

Non-native presenting for speech class:
Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?

Teacher: Chaos. It’s pronounced ‘chaos.’

(“Cows in our families,” lagot ka sa kapatid mo! Hahaha)

4. But Fantastic That You’re Keeping That Cultural Reference Alive

History professor, lecturing on the early 1900s: I mean, the problem of being the only person with a telephone is, well, who you gonna call?
Class (as one):  Ghostbusters!
History professor: You kids scare me.

(WAHAHAHA!)

5. Little Frasier and Niles Were Quite the Handful

Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He’s non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!

(Brit humor ba to? Laurie?!)

6. And You Stole Me from a Playground!

Little boy (standing next to a car):  Daddy, this isn’t our car!  Daddy, what are you doing? This isn’t our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you’ve got to stop saying that when we’re in parking lots.

(To a couple walking by) I just got a new car.

Little boy: No you didn’t!

(Children are not liars, uh-uh.)

7.  Should I Write My Number on His Hand in Crayon?

Preschooler (left alone in stroller singing to 20-something girl walking by):  Cha, cha, cha… you’re charming!
20-something girl (on cellphone):  I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I’ve heard.

(Ku-yut!)

—————

Irrelevant afterword:

Those, it seems, were the longest discourse I’ve ever written, with multiple exclamations after your name, least to say that I’m happy.  But look at what you’ve done, nothing.  Oh, thank you, nothingness! And today I will stick a bond paper on my room wall shouting in bold letters, “Get over it and move on.”

Absobloodylutely!

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

eeeeehhh naka-cross out pa kunwari! i-blog mo ng maayos! 😛

Comment by kat

Wala! Crossing out sentences is part of the story.. hehehe…

Waaaahhhh!! This will be the last time he’ll be mentioned here. Gumaganun?! Hahaha 😛

Comment by timebender




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