“The day I was born I was born free and that is my Privilege.”


Sabi nga, “Laughter is the Best Medicine.”
April 2, 2009, 4:31 pm
Filed under: Tabloid

It’s easy to please me! Food and humor! Recently, hindi ko na ma-distinguish yung corny sa tolerable pa naman sa nakakatawa talaga.  Blame it on the radio, may virus sa airwaves.. hahahaha… Sana matuloy kame sa Monster Movie Premiere ng Slumdog Millionaire.  I want to see Chico and Delamar, and I’m dying to see Boyle’s award-winning film.  Wootwoo!

Mga “Salawikain” na nagpa-ismayl sakin:

Unang Eksena:

— This one, feeling ko magagawa ko to sa anak ko. Hahaha —

NAY: Anak!! Bibili tayo ng ice cream today! What flavor do you want?! Pili ka.

FIVE-YEAR-OLD: Nay, yung rocky road na lang. Thank you.

NAY: Hindi, anak, yung ube yung masarap, ube yung bibilhin natin, ube.

FIVE-YEAR-OLD: (Pouts)

Ikalawang Eksena:

— Well, in my case, it’s the other way around. Lavaya, ma! —

YOUNGER SISTER: Ate, anung difference ng suffer and supper?

OLDER SISTER: Gan’to yan, kapag si ‘Nay yung nagluto ng ulam, that is supper.

YOUNGER SISTER: Uh-huh. Tapos?

OLDER SISTER: Kapag si ‘Tay yung nagluto ng ulam, yun, yun ang suffer. Gets mo?

Ikatlong Eksena:

— I am curious now if really there exists a person named Jellicles. And if there is, meeting him/her would be included to my “Things to do Before I Leave This Earthly World.” —

I received this text message from a friend one summer night.

“I  read your top 25 last night — referring to my “Top 25 things only a few knew about me” — and I happen to tell my boyfriend about the one with a question, What’s the story behind your name?  And he asked, “Ano bang full name ni jel?”

I answered, “Lauricejel.”

And my boyfriend surprisingly said, “Di ba ‘Jellicles’ yung name niya?”

(Actually, sa Cats Musical ko yan nakuha — Jellicle Cats.   I just made it Jellicles.   I like plurality.)
Ikaapat na Eksena:

— Si Donya walang kupas —

(Pantry: Lunchtime)

Donya: Jel! (magkatabi lang kame, pero kala mo nasunugan kung makasigaw) Alam mo ba nung pauwi ako…

Jel: Anu? What happened?

Donya: Eh, di umalis na dun sa terminal yung fx, tapos andun na kame sa ayala ave, noh, yung malapit sa EDSA.

Jel: Oh, tapos?

Donya: Busy ako nung kakatext, as in parang wala talaga akong pakialam sa katabi ko, sa drayber, sa daan.. tapos nag-preno bigla yung sasakyan.  I blurted out, “Ay, patay.”

Ang nangyari pala may muntikan ng masagasaan si drayber, muntikan lang, di patay, contrary to my interjection.  Tinignan ako ng masama nung katabi ko.

(Tapos tumawa na lang siya mag-isa realizing what she had done.)

Ikalimang Eksena:

— Yaya, you’re such a loser moments. Kung yaya kaya ang profession ko, anu kaya yung loser moments ko? Hahaha —

Yaya: (On the Phone) Hello, magandang umaga po.

Caller: Good morning. Andiyan ba si Grace? Pedeng makausap?

Yaya: Ay, lumabas po siya eh.

Caller: Tingin mo ba diyan siya magla-lunch?

Yaya: (Pause.  Thinking.) Hindi na po siguro.

Caller: Alam mo ba kung sa’n siya nagpunta?

Yaya: Ahhhmmmm… Sa Amerika po. (Toinks)

Ikaanim na Eksena:

Walang basagan ng trip, sa natawa ako eh! haha —

I.

Use Parang, Calumpang, and Tutuban in a song.

Use!

Come they told me PARANG, CALUMPANG, TUTUBAN, TUTUBAN.

II.

Use deposit and diploma in a sentence

Use!

Oh, no, DE-POSIT is sira.  I need to call DI-PLOMA tuloy!  (Naks, British accent!)

Ikapitong Eksena:

— I’m glad you’re not turning Japanese.  Bored ako nito. —

From File:

Q. Sir,  do you know Ms. Thai’s race?

A. I do.  I believe I do from the paperwork I’ve seen.
Q. And what is her race?
A. I believe it’s Vietnamese.

Ikawalong  Eksena:

Tawang-tawa talaga ako dito. Wahahaha —

Boy: Girl, straight ako.

Girl: Weh, bakit Lady Gaga yung codename mo?

Ikasiyam na Eksena:

— Ako talaga to eh! Joke!!–

Lola: Apo, apo! Okay na. Nakahanap na ako.

Apo: Ng alin?

Lola: Yung para sa’yo.

Apo: Yiii, ka-sweet naman ng lola ko.  Anung para sa’kin? May gift ka sa’kin?

Lola: Yung magiging boyfriend mo. Nakita ko na siya!

Apo: Lola!!!!! Tingin nio ba desperado na talaga ako!! Asan ba? Masipat nga! Kase naman eh!

Huling Eksena:

Sutyal ni Itay, game hunt ang hobby

Tatay caught a deer.  When he arrived home, he cooked it and served the dish to his children.

Anak: Tatay, ano po ito?

Tatay: Hulaan mo! Sige, clue! Hhhhmm.. yan yung tawag sakin ng nanay nio.  (He thinks to himself that he obviously will get “dear” as an answer, but to his surprise…)

Anak: Wag niyong kainin yan! Wag niyong kainin yan! Demonyo yan! Waaahhh!!!

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