“The day I was born I was born free and that is my Privilege.”


Paranoia’s Cure
April 10, 2010, 4:27 pm
Filed under: Tabloid

Sometimes I forget, shame on me, that the ultimate solution to all my life’s problems is just a prayer away.

I’m Miss Paranoia, I admit, and thinking about things, too much that is and most of the times unnecessarily repetitive thoughts, causes me stress. Last holy week, I’ve been stricken with a disease called parotitis or mumps, as they simply call it. After having been to a clinic-hospital-clinic, I’ve finally had in my hands antibiotics that the experts say will calm off my swelling parotids. But then, I felt, luck abandoned me when I had seen my total bill of more than a thousand pesos for a 21-piece capsule cure. I accepted the fact about my wasted antibiotics given to me at an hospital ER because the ENT specialist at the clinic I visited the following day asked me to buy myself new medicines, but after seeing that medical receipt, I felt robbed.

I complained to my mother the minute I arrived home, munching a banana in between my rants. She just listened and said after a while, “You are saying you are now broke but then you still have some to spend on bananas and strawberries. Enough of that and be thankful still.” I was silenced with what she said and felt ashamed after realizing what it meant.

I was cured of my mumps, there was swelling still but the pain when chewing was gone, after taking two or three capsules. “I will be relieved of this facial swelling in lesser time than I had expected,” I told myself. I was in good spirit. I slept around 9:00 p.m and got out of bed 9:00 a.m the following day, a good 12-hour sleep except for when I woke up, I had stomach pains, which later turned to indigestion. It was Holy Thursday and Good Friday and I felt that I was the one to be crucified. My daily meal during those days were rice with salt, banana and water, which I would usually throw up after fifteen minutes or so. But with God’s grace, I survived those days.

Wednesday, my sick leave was over and I managed to go to work. I thought I was cured but I was still nauseous. Thursday night I went home sick. Friday night I begged for His mercy, told Him all of my worries, that I can’t function well in the office if I continue to have an upset stomach. Saturday morning I was cured.

This morning, in a bus going to work, I came to that realization of how powerful prayers can be. It is a re-learning, a basic necessity that we all forget when we already set foot on oasis.

Now, I remember one time when I was in deep thought about something while I was at work. It bothered me a whole lot that for a moment I refused to edit. I uttered a prayer asking to calm me down. After a few minutes, I was surprised when I heard someone saying, “Wag kang mag-alala, wag kayong mag-alala.” It appeared that a team manager on the other bay was coaching his subordinates about certain work matters. To them it just meant work advice, but to me it meant something. Those are the exact words I needed to hear at that time. It is Him relieving me of my anxieties.

The same alleviation is what I felt when I cried and told Him my story of grief at a certain point in my life, when I almost lost hope. It was summertime when suddenly a strong wind blew towards my direction but not to falter me but to embrace me, to tell me that everything will be all right. I was appalled by His immediate response. From then on, I associated Him with the wind.

I plan to share just my first statement and not tell the story behind it. I am not too open when it comes to this topic, which is a mischief, I know, on my part, but then I guess it’s God’s will that I write about this.


Let me be free of him, my Father. And teach me how to be patient.

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12:05 a.m.
March 9, 2010, 3:47 pm
Filed under: Tabloid

Oh, Stranger, I am depressed. The reason, I am afraid to say, cannot be heralded. Maybe if we can have that chance to talk, I will discuss it to you in detail. Maybe we can converse lying on the grass ground, looking at the dark sky illuminated by a few stellar, searching for the rarest array of the beautiful aurora borealis, getting comfortable with our two hands underneath our heads. And you, the patient you, will just listen as I relate to you, Stranger, my life’s recent tribulation. Tears you will see flow down my cheeks, but you will not make a move to wipe them off. Instead, you will utter those words that are just enough to calm my senses.

I will start to look again for that colorful flower vine on a long stretch of gray wall and dried leaves on trellis on my way to work tomorrow, don’t worry. You know what, that used to make me smile when my appreciation for the littlest things is still undevoured.

Faith is my sturdiest armor.



Who’s The Joker
November 30, 2009, 3:26 pm
Filed under: Tabloid

Heard this song again at a Ministop last week. Incubus had a short audio clip of this song. It was done acoustically.

Reminiscin’

Originally sang by the Steve Miller Band.

And Fatboy Slim has his version, too. Cute felines are on the video.

Speaking of felines! Cats Manila on July 24, 2010! Leah Salonga’s Grizabella. I want to watch! No, I will! Hope I can find a friend to accompany me! :).



Cheese Allergy — Kaya ‘di daw pala ako cheesy!
October 10, 2009, 4:23 pm
Filed under: Tabloid

I had yet my worst allergic attack yesterday. A friend had a treat of a bilao of spaghetti, rice cakes, and bottles of soda, and we decided to bring the food at a nearby park to eat. Hungry, I forgot that spaghetti can be topped with cheese or the cheese can be included in the cooking of its sauce. Cheese, the one food that I am allergic to. I had allergy to chicken, egg, shrimp and, I think, crabs too before, but it cured for some reason, which I am thankful for.

After eating two platefuls, I even commended that it was delicious, that it had some distinct taste. And now I am thinking that the cheese can explain its peculiarity, which after a few minutes caused me flushing of skin which then turned to skin inflammation, light headache, heart palpitation, and nausea.

Luckily, my friends are there to accompany me. I dragged one to walk with me to buy my medication at the nearest pharmacy. I take Zyrtec whenever I have a cheese allergy attack, and it always costs me almost 40 pesos to buy a small tablet. I sat on a bench with two friends, the other keeping me awake with his stories while I am making a pillow out of a shoulder of the other. As I am nauseous, two girlfriends were guiding me on my two arms, walking me to the terminal, one of them even getting me home. Honestly, I am embarrassed having seen by my friends in such state, but I cannot do nothing but to take my medication and wait till the swelling subsides.

On Hitch, a Will Smith film, there is a scene where the man ate dinner at the woman’s house. The food prepared contains shellfish which he is allergic to. Too ashamed to explain of his allergy to the woman’s mistress, he humbly ate the shellfish, if my memory serves me right. A few bites then caused his face to swell severely. That is what I remembered when I had my attack last night.  It’s an ugly facial distortion. I was not recognizable.

In an article that I read it says that what I have is called food intolerance, allergic not to milk but to its by-product, one of which is cheese. It is still unknown to me what cheese is a foe, but as far as I know, cheddar is still good for me, particularly Kraft, and other cheeses taken in small servings I am still able to eat. You could mock me if I should say that I am depressed a bit thinking that I have a food restriction. I could not eat anything with cheese. Even if I will reason out that I can still eat baked macaroni, mussels, and oyters, that Zyrtec will help me through another allergic reaction, but I had heart palpitation, difficulty breathing, and nausea last night, symptoms that I haven’t experienced in my previous attacks and which kind of scares me.

No, this couldn’t be happening.



Lakad Maynila
October 10, 2009, 1:48 pm
Filed under: Food, It's Asian, Tabloid

In celebration of my 24 years of existence and Sam’s 25th, we toured the city named Manila.

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Going back to the olden times.  Exploring the Intramuros and the Extramuros.

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Rode the kalesa.  I asked the not-so friendly kutsero a few questions.

Correspondent: Ilang taon na po kayo sa trabahong ito?

Not-so friendly kutsero: Thirty years na din.

Correspondent: Tagal na din pala.  Anu pong pangalan nung kabayo nio?

Not-so friendly kutsero: Richard.

Correspondent: Anna? Richard daw.  Nagpaalam ka ba ng maayos kase?

Bananay: (Tawa na lang ng tawa. Di na makausap ng maayos.)

Visited the Rizal Shrine.  I enjoyed going through every room of this museum. As far as I remember, the last time I have been to this place was when I was in my 6th year in elementary.  It’s a free trip given to those students who aced the periodicals.  Maybe that should explain the affinity to this place.

Philipine history is my best subject. I still remember my grade 5 teacher patiently writing facts about the life of Rizal on the board, information lacking in our textbook.  She said she was giving us facts that a first year high school student should know. That excited me really.  I was supposed to join the inter-school History Quiz Bee, but luck failed to come to me at that time, I was instead transferred to a group of students to represent our school in a Math Quiz Bee.

In Rizal Shrine, I particularly like the empty room adorned only by the writings on the wooden floor.

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Lunchtime, we headed to Manila’s Chinatown to eat.  We dined at Mandarin’s Seafood Restaurant.  We were so full.  There is enough food for an army of 12.

Chinatown

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The infamous Quiapo (DVD), according to GoogleMaps.

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While waiting for the train at Carriedo Station

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Girl talk at MOA Bayside

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It’s a tiring yet fun day.

I should go back to Binondo for another food trip and to buy me a traveler souvenir bracelet.



Maysa nga Domingo ti Setyembre
September 13, 2009, 2:01 pm
Filed under: Tabloid

It started out when I put a cup of oil into the pan. And while waiting for it to heaten up, I prepared the sauce mix for my adobo — poured soy sauce, vinegar, quartered onions, searched through our spices organizer for the bottle of whole peppercorns and laurel leaf and put some into the mixture, poured a cup of water, tasted it, and then set the pan on the stove after including in the porkchops. I saw a can of button mushrooms on our grocery cabinet and remembered the baby potatoes I bought last week. And suddenly the idea of putting them in my adobo as meat extenders got me excited.

At the time that I finished this up, I saw that the oil was already hot. The panicky me grabbed the sabas, peeled off three pieces and threw it into the heated oil. I then opened a bottle of muscovado sugar, as this is the only one available, placed two to three tablespoons on top of the bananas and started to constantly mixing it. It must be my first time to cook caramelized banana or the infamous Banana Cue. And that happened on the last Sunday of my 23rd year.  Oooohh, am I romanticizing everything?

Sleep came to me 2:00 a.m. last night, so I failed to wake up early to attend mass with my mother. My alarm instead woke me up around 8:00 a.m. “What will I do this day?” I asked myself. While thinking of an answer, I grabbed my phone placed on my bookshelf and read a text message from a friend greeting me a good morning. As much as I wanted to reply, I couldn’t, so I just played En Vogue’s Don’t Let Go thrice and sang my heart out.

Fast forward.

2:30 p.m., after a warm bath, I saw my phone blinked, indicating an unread message. My friends advised me that the UAAP Cheerdance Competition just started, one even tried to call me. Oh, yes, I remember about it lunch hour, but I do not know what’s the exact time it will be shown on TV. I opened the television, saw the dome filled with students from various schools. Knowing that half f it was occupied by my fellow UP-ians made me really excited. There I was in front of the television jumping while shouting “LABAN UP!!! UP FIGHT!!!” And it felt really good. We placed third, but still “Unibersidad ng Buhay Namin, UP, Ang Galing Mo!”

And to quote a friend: “UP Pep Squad: “What happens in Diliman, stays in Diliman.” Oh, yeah, I love the spirit, Yabang Pinoy!”

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Wait, garlic in my adobo is missing, not too late to put some into it, though! Lucky!



This is “charvaluks,” wala lang, quoting Angel.
September 12, 2009, 7:51 am
Filed under: Tabloid

On Tuesday, I will be a year older. It’s kind of depressing knowing that you’re getting older and here again Impatience questioning me what, so far, happened to my life.   Any future plans? Having relayed that thought to a friend, she lessoned me to immediately get rid of it and to always think that the small things I have had done should amount to something bigger than what I expected. And, come on, I am still alive, meaning blessed that I have a chance still to fulfill my dreams, whatever those are.
Okay. Enough. Jolly Jel, come out now!

So let’s talk about what happened so far on the last Saturday of my 23rd year. And I warn those who are generous enough to waste their precious time reading what I must write here that this could be as boring as you can get, and I don’t mind talking about it here.

I ate the last serving of chicken curry for brunch. I have been eating it since the night before the last. My mom cooked it for us, which she so often does, I mean, cook, but this time she defied her daily menu and tried to cook an almost foreign dish to her. So it’s me showing too much appreciation to my mother’s  effort of cooking my favorite chicken curry.

The dessert is nothing close to sweet, though.  My mother told me a devastating story of a neighbor pouring hot water on them cats causing a ruckus on their roof, disturbing their silence, and of another neighbor taking advantage of my brother’s generosity.  The latter act, most often that not,  is always experienced by my family, and I intend not to boast.

Two friends accompany me in text today.  One tells his story of him being a godfather to his second godchild. His last text narrates of him being happy having a picture holding the cute baby in his arms when shortly before that he thought that he could not have a panoramic moment with his godchild as the child is happily asleep.

This reminds me of the niece, still a baby, of my friend.  She lightened up the room where her late grandmother was being mourned by with her cute smiles and acts, alleviating grief.

Child’s innocence brings joy.  Now, I miss my nephew Cole and I can’t wait to have my picture taken with him.

And another friend of mine talks about the idea of going out today as, for a while, the rain stopped.  I encouraged her to make herself happy; said that I demand a greeting on Tuesday, that I won’t accept a late greeting even if it is just a minute late; pleaded for our joint celebration to be moved on the 11th of next month instead of the 26th; and we both ended up, in the hopes that our other friends would agree, being excited of visiting Manila Ocean Park and Makansutra, a newly opened food haven in Roxas Boulevard.

I will cook pancit for dinner. My mother is doing our laundry.  I folded my umbrella neatly.

The sky is still overcast. No portion of blue can be seen. I pray not a weather like this on the 19th. And I hope to see a beautiful sunset at the end of that day.