“The day I was born I was born free and that is my Privilege.”

She thought of not being in a relationship at her age right now after a trip to nowhere alone.  I said to her that I’ve thought of that myself, too, but yet I am not ready for the scenarios like telling him every little thing that you decided to do with your momentary life like what color should I use if I have chosen to dye my hair.

To express oneself is as hard as showing apathy while you’re in a rollercoaster ride.   Tell me what to do.

I just want someone to hug, I said to another she.  Surprised, she told me to just grab a pillow and that my wish will be fulfilled.  Look for a mature one, she then advised me.  I asked her to qualify what she means by “mature.”  She typed in like bullet points — brave enough to face everything you two will go through in the relationship and the side of you that he doesn’t know yet, who knows insensitivity enough not to befriend it, who doesn’t get angry when you’re nearly misanthropic.  And I just listened as she tells her story following that.

I know about it but I don’t understand it.

That night I read a line in a book saying, “Flirting with alternative pasts only made it more difficult to face the present.” A memory flashed back and I refused to read for hours.

I was on my bed last night reading Sara Backer’s American Fuji, a book I just snatched from my friend’s bookshelf when I went at her place last Sunday. I saw a John Grisham o a double-decker and asked her, while she was half-asleep, if I could borrow it. She mumbled a few words and pointed me to a collection of books on the table. I moved the bouquet of flowers on top of the stack and picked the one she recommended me reading.

Sleep refused to get through me yesterday even though the rainy weather kept on persuading me to close my eyes and dream. Reading a few pages lulled me to sleep, but I was awakened by the thought that there was something that I should be doing rather than rest. My mind is awake. I went to my brother’s room to get the guitar, played a few chords then went back to my room to continue reading the book.

The story centers on two individuals, both of them Americans, that is, Gabby and Alex. A former professor at a university in Tokyo, Gaby talks old men on how they want their remains be handled, how their last respects be done for a favorable price. At Gone With the Wind, her company, the package called “Fly Me to the Moon” is the most expensive.  “Liar,” the wife of her rich client called her after discussing its details to the old man. “One’s ashes will be transported to the moon, that is nonsense. It’s against the tradition,” she said.

You will be a part of everyone when you die, a molecule on a plant dew, your nucleus will be in the air that everyone breaths in; I read that in a book. And I kind of like that concept of death.

Gaby sells death, that’s what she does now.  But Gaby misses teaching, that cannot be denied. Lester often blames her for staying at her current work and not pursuing her passion. She was terminated at her teaching post a few years back, and the reason was not discussed to her in detail.  A Ph.D. holder, fluent in both English and Japanese, the dean tells his regret of losing a good teacher like her, but he also stresses out needing someone else to do her job.

In working at Gone With the Wind, she will meet Alex, an author by profession, a father whose son, a student in a university at Tokyo, died in a motorcycle accident a year ago. The details of his death was never known to Alex.  “Your company transported my son’s body in a casket back to America,” he said.  He also claimed he had transfer papers to prove it, but Gaby couldn’t find a record of it in their file.

That is to the extent of what I read. Telling their story is a relief and an alibi of not narrating mine. Merely because mine is a sad one. It involves greed, disrespect, deceit resulting to tears, confusion, anger, empathy which then turns to apathy.

One hour close to midnight I end this post.

—————————————————————

Brandon Boyd, believing in that 1 percent of a chance that you’ll read this,  I just want to say my deepest thanks for including my Ectoplasm post in your blog. Continue to inspire other people through your music and art.   I will wait for the release of  Monuments and Melodies  here in my country.  By the way, I love what you said in your recent interview with LiveDaily; that is,  “I hadn’t thought about the lyric in a long time — there’s a lyric in the song “Monuments and Melodies” that refers to where one has been and where one is going and being sort of in praise of the process of growth.”

Then let’s all move forward.

Now, that put colors on my dull cheeks.

I need money for my travel expenses. It’s a dream to tour the world, pero sabi nga ni Nanay given the chance she’ll tour the Philippines first. So that’s what I am trying to do now.

One more Friday, two more of the rest of the days, then Quezon off I go with my lovely friends.

And Jandy texted me a little while ago, “Friend, sorry, pressure, book na kita ha. July tayo.” I replied a resounding yes. That will be our Cebu-Bohol trip. I really have to go! I missed the Puerto Galera and Potipot, Zambales adventures with them because of certain concerns, and I feel like I’m missing a whole lot. So I decided to say yes this time without the buts.

Takot ako sa idea ng plane ride. Di ako sanay sa adrenaline rush, sa Morning Rush lang. Hahahaha. But I should do this or I can’t say hello to my soulmate in Greece — haha — a place I really want to go to before I die.

I just realized am touring Visayas.  It’s Camiguin for Mindanao. I will eat Pastel there.  Yippeee!

A few entries from overheardeverywhere. com.

1. Edgar Allan Poe Was a Difficult Kid to Raise

Mother: Honey, do you remember mommy’s friend Denise?
Four-year-old son: Uh-huh.
Mother: Well, mommy has to leave right now, because Denise’s father passed away, and I have to go and tell Denise that I’m sorry.
Four-year-old son: Oh, did you kill him?

(Eeeekkk, Grissom, murder… — haha.. sensiya, CSI mode lang.)

2.  But If Enough Rain Builds Up, You Can Watch Me Walk on Water

Angry traveler: The flight’s canceled because of weather?!  Can’t you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma’am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.

(Grabeh, taas ng self-esteem! hahaha)

3. Hamburgers, That’s How

Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?

Teacher: Chaos. It’s pronounced ‘chaos.’

(”Cows in our families,” lagot ka sa kapatid mo! Hahaha)

4. But Fantastic That You’re Keeping That Cultural Reference Alive

History professor, lecturing on the early 1900s: I mean, the problem of being the only person with a telephone is, well, who you gonna call?
Class (as one):  Ghostbusters!
History professor: You kids scare me.

(WAHAHAHA!)

5. Little Frasier and Niles Were Quite the Handful

Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He’s non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!

(Brit humor ba to? Laurie?!)

6. And You Stole Me from a Playground!

Little boy (standing next to a car):  Daddy, this isn’t our car!  Daddy, what are you doing? This isn’t our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you’ve got to stop saying that when we’re in parking lots.

(To a couple walking by) I just got a new car.

Little boy: No you didn’t!

(Children are not liars, uh-uh.)

7.  Should I Write My Number on His Hand in Crayon?

Preschooler (left alone in stroller singing to 20-something girl walking by):  Cha, cha, cha… you’re charming!
20-something girl (on cellphone):  I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I’ve heard.

(Ku-yut!)

—————

Irrelevant afterword:

Those, it seems, were the longest discourse I’ve ever written, with multiple exclamations after your name, least to say that I’m happy.  But look at what you’ve done, nothing.  Oh, thank you, nothingness! And today I will stick a bond paper on my room wall shouting in bold letters, “Get over it and move on.”

Absobloodylutely!

I cried last night, argh, for reasons I will not further discuss, but one of them really bothers me a whole lot.  God, forgive me for my weakness.

The minor issue involves someone who may have forgotten that I still exist in this damned world. It’s been eons since I’ve seen him, and it’s a sufficient amount of time, I think, to maybe forget those skip-a-heartbeat moments. But hell no, at least for me.  And I hate it, the feeling that you’re missing someone who cares not even a bone about your whereabouts.  Being stuck in that state, bearing that emotion for God knows how many days now made me distraught. I used to categorize it as “petty,” that the rational me is saying to let go, but he’s nailed there somewhere, in my hypothalamus, I guess, because he sent me longing feelings that I could not comprehend — darn, what am I writing about.

It’s easy to please me! Food and humor! Recently, hindi ko na ma-distinguish yung corny sa tolerable pa naman sa nakakatawa talaga.  Blame it on the radio, may virus sa airwaves.. hahahaha… Sana matuloy kame sa Monster Movie Premiere ng Slumdog Millionaire.  I want to see Chico and Delamar, and I’m dying to see Boyle’s award-winning film.  Wootwoo!

Mga “Salawikain” na nagpa-ismayl sakin:

Unang Eksena:

— This one, feeling ko magagawa ko to sa anak ko. Hahaha –

NAY: Anak!! Bibili tayo ng ice cream today! What flavor do you want?! Pili ka.

FIVE-YEAR-OLD: Nay, yung rocky road na lang. Thank you.

NAY: Hindi, anak, yung ube yung masarap, ube yung bibilhin natin, ube.

FIVE-YEAR-OLD: (Pouts)

Ikalawang Eksena:

– Well, in my case, it’s the other way around. Lavaya, ma! –

YOUNGER SISTER: Ate, anung difference ng suffer and supper?

OLDER SISTER: Gan’to yan, kapag si ‘Nay yung nagluto ng ulam, that is supper.

YOUNGER SISTER: Uh-huh. Tapos?

OLDER SISTER: Kapag si ‘Tay yung nagluto ng ulam, yun, yun ang suffer. Gets mo?

Ikatlong Eksena:

– I am curious now if really there exists a person named Jellicles. And if there is, meeting him/her would be included to my “Things to do Before I Leave This Earthly World.” –

I received this text message from a friend one summer night.

“I  read your top 25 last night — referring to my “Top 25 things only a few knew about me” — and I happen to tell my boyfriend about the one with a question, What’s the story behind your name?  And he asked, “Ano bang full name ni jel?”

I answered, “Lauricejel.”

And my boyfriend surprisingly said, “Di ba ‘Jellicles’ yung name niya?”

(Actually, sa Cats Musical ko yan nakuha — Jellicle Cats.   I just made it Jellicles.   I like plurality.)
Ikaapat na Eksena:

– Si Donya walang kupas –

(Pantry: Lunchtime)

Donya: Jel! (magkatabi lang kame, pero kala mo nasunugan kung makasigaw) Alam mo ba nung pauwi ako…

Jel: Anu? What happened?

Donya: Eh, di umalis na dun sa terminal yung fx, tapos andun na kame sa ayala ave, noh, yung malapit sa EDSA.

Jel: Oh, tapos?

Donya: Busy ako nung kakatext, as in parang wala talaga akong pakialam sa katabi ko, sa drayber, sa daan.. tapos nag-preno bigla yung sasakyan.  I blurted out, “Ay, patay.”

Ang nangyari pala may muntikan ng masagasaan si drayber, muntikan lang, di patay, contrary to my interjection.  Tinignan ako ng masama nung katabi ko.

(Tapos tumawa na lang siya mag-isa realizing what she had done.)

Ikalimang Eksena:

– Yaya, you’re such a loser moments. Kung yaya kaya ang profession ko, anu kaya yung loser moments ko? Hahaha –

Yaya: (On the Phone) Hello, magandang umaga po.

Caller: Good morning. Andiyan ba si Grace? Pedeng makausap?

Yaya: Ay, lumabas po siya eh.

Caller: Tingin mo ba diyan siya magla-lunch?

Yaya: (Pause.  Thinking.) Hindi na po siguro.

Caller: Alam mo ba kung sa’n siya nagpunta?

Yaya: Ahhhmmmm… Sa Amerika po. (Toinks)

Ikaanim na Eksena:

– Walang basagan ng trip, sa natawa ako eh! haha –

I.

Use Parang, Calumpang, and Tutuban in a song.

Use!

Come they told me PARANG, CALUMPANG, TUTUBAN, TUTUBAN.

II.

Use deposit and diploma in a sentence

Use!

Oh, no, DE-POSIT is sira.  I need to call DI-PLOMA tuloy!  (Naks, British accent!)

Ikapitong Eksena:

– I’m glad you’re not turning Japanese.  Bored ako nito. –

From File:

Q. Sir,  do you know Ms. Thai’s race?

A. I do.  I believe I do from the paperwork I’ve seen.
Q. And what is her race?
A. I believe it’s Vietnamese.

Ikawalong  Eksena:

– Tawang-tawa talaga ako dito. Wahahaha –

Boy: Girl, straight ako.

Girl: Weh, bakit Lady Gaga yung codename mo?

Ikasiyam na Eksena:

– Ako talaga to eh! Joke!!–

Lola: Apo, apo! Okay na. Nakahanap na ako.

Apo: Ng alin?

Lola: Yung para sa’yo.

Apo: Yiii, ka-sweet naman ng lola ko.  Anung para sa’kin? May gift ka sa’kin?

Lola: Yung magiging boyfriend mo. Nakita ko na siya!

Apo: Lola!!!!! Tingin nio ba desperado na talaga ako!! Asan ba? Masipat nga! Kase naman eh!

Huling Eksena:

– Sutyal ni Itay, game hunt ang hobby –

Tatay caught a deer.  When he arrived home, he cooked it and served the dish to his children.

Anak: Tatay, ano po ito?

Tatay: Hulaan mo! Sige, clue! Hhhhmm.. yan yung tawag sakin ng nanay nio.  (He thinks to himself that he obviously will get “dear” as an answer, but to his surprise…)

Anak: Wag niyong kainin yan! Wag niyong kainin yan! Demonyo yan! Waaahhh!!!

Sa office, nung malapit ko na talagang ma-associate yung trabaho ko sa absolute monotony — kung may ganun man, sabi kasi nung teacher ko nung college wala daw absolutism — anyways, here comes Superhero Ramon Bautista to save my day. Yaaaa–hooo! You’ve seen him in commercials, sa Nescafe with late Francis M. Segment host din siya dati sa Sports Unlimited. First time ko siyang nakita sa Strangebrew with Tado and Erning, ume-extra.

Sa Gloo site niya, he posed questions like “Sa larangan ng material things, parang monito-monita ba ang definition ng ’simple joys of life’? Like, pag lampas 100 pesos, hindi na simple joys yun?” And this, “Is every second of our lives controlled by fate? Or is life a series of random occurrences? Or are things a matter of perfect timing?” And this, “When was the last time you’ve experienced something for the first time?”

Minsan makulit na questions lang like “Pag nanood ba ako ng Gossip Girl, magiging gay ako?” or “Di ko pa napapanood ang Dark Knight. Loser ba ako, inay?” And you’ll read hopeless-romantic lines like this: “You try to tell me that I’m clever, but that won’t take me anyhow, or anywhere, with you.”

I like him, the humor and the wits. Necessity talaga for one to learn or find something new for you to know how bland or tangy your world is. Pero, ang happy aftermath nun, you’ll then be inspired like an eagle to explore the vast sky. Hey, what’s happening to me! Hahaha!

Anyways, nainggit ako sa heart pictures niya. Sabi ko dapat meron din ako para cool din ako like him! Wahahaha!

Wala! Taob open palm technique mo!

Al-vain!

Momma, whoo hoo whoo…

Excuse me, Rushers ba kayo?

YES, WE ARE! Silent Rushers nga lang.  Na-meet namin si hellgirl, isang active Rusher dun sa workplace namin.  Katuwa lang yung fact na na-meet namin ang isang active Rusher, parang malapit na namin ma-meet sila Chico and Del after that.  Hahaha.  She invited us to join the forum and be an active rusher.  Nagkuwento pa siya about dun sa iba pang active Rushers! Katuwa talaga.  Batiin daw niya kame Monday, actually nung Saturday, eh hindi namin narinig ni Banana, so isama daw niya ulit kame Monday greetings niya.  Thanks, Hellgirl! At mabuhay ang Morning Rush!

Fellow Rusher! Sam!!

Ang saya nung one time, nung ang topic sa Top Ten is Top ten stupid answers to game show questions yata, tabi-tabi kameng tatlo — Sam, Banana and me — kaniya-kaniyang earphones, habang nakikinig kila Chico and Delamar.  Tahimik habang nakikinig, tapos sabay-sabay tatawa dun sa mga entries to the amazement of our co-workers. HAHA.

Hayst, I’ll miss them gal pals!

We have this end-of-the-workweek endeavour of visiting a nearby park to jog and feel healthy, but as of these past few sessions, we end up passing by 7-Eleven, buying Big Uhaws and some snacks, unfolding a blanket on the grass, and having a picnic at the park.  As Kat was, is and, I guess, will be saying,  “Ang pa-plastik niyong lahat!” Haha.

And just these past two Fridays, we included pictorials as one of the major reasons of going there.   Stretching, jogging and walking around, skyscrapers and lampposts backdrop, role playing by the bench, cozy on the grass scenes, even with what I call a multicultural background — the park is frequented by foreigner children who lived with their parents and, of course, the Pinay helpers in the condos nearby — every move is documented.  I have this story about a demeaning chinky woman, but I won’t mention it here as I take this as a jolly-golly post.   Okay.  Back to an-image-of-one-bright-flower-in-a-sunshine-y-morning mood!

Here are some of our pictures:

Making a purchase of our energy drink — BIG UHAW! Yeba! Haha!

Forget the jogging, Philippine Games muna– Bato-bato pick!

Taya!! — Wait, ba’t ang weird ng scissors ko! Hahaha!

Luksong Tinik!

Jumpin’ Jumpin’

PSP while walking! Ka-adik battle mode ng Bomberman eh!

Featuring the new Bench endorsers! Haha! Literal-an!

Here comes another Friday afto!

Bomberman 101

My jog pals!

Role-playing:  Pinoy pasttime, chismisan! Haha!

Role-playing:  May vain! May vain! Keber kung may vain! Haha! Pish, piney!

Banana left (pun intended). 

…when I seized your hand — you were about to leave then after a short discussion — I’ve thought of saying things, what I felt maybe, and that I missed you after me being away because of the storm. And when I realized how bold I’ve become and decided to pull away, you held my hand tightly, refused to let it go, or at least that was what I felt. Uneasily it seemed, I looked through your eyes, blushed, and again tried to free my hand from your grasp.  I had not the courage to hug you back then, but I wanted to. I always have.

Out of sight, out of my mind.  Nah, that doesn’t work for me.  You linger.